So I wake up today to the sound of my granddaughters playing in the house, some days its the most beautiful sound others I just want to put the pillow over my head and hide. A little about me, I am obviously a grandmother, married and suffer from MS as well as Seizures. I have to tell you that the MS part is the most frustrating part of my life, I never know when its going to rear its ugly head and get a little worse, and then there are those out there who really don't understand it and think, well she looks ok, she's young so why is she in that chair is she just lazy or what? Its something that bothers me even though it shouldn't and everyone tells me to ignore it but I am the one in the stupid wheelchair and I cant just ignore it. So anyway, I am in a wheelchair some of the time, the rest of the time I am in my bed. I don't do much for myself anymore and it really upsets me, I have lost my privacy, my independence and frankly my will to live anymore. But that's all in my head so my kids tell me, they don't seem to fully understand either. Its funny how people can be so judgemental when they have no idea what its like for someone like me. I have gotten to the point that I don't even go out anymore except for doctors appts. and even that tends to give me panic attacks anymore. I feel so stupid when things like that happen, I apologize to everyone for everything no matter where I am or who they are, I am a loser lol.
Anyway so my day started as usual, made a few phone calls to get some things going. Then decided that I would start my very first blog. Now I know that this is probably all pretty boring but trust me my life if anything but boring. I get chewed out for nearly everything that happens or doesn't happen around here. And I have a new granddaughter, her name is Lia, she is 2 months old and a very sick little girl. She was born with her heart on the wrong side of her chest and if that wasn't bad enough she also has 2 holes in her heart. Her heart is resting on her lung so that is underdeveloped and the baby is so small because she isn't gaining weight, she is only 7lbs 12 oz. the size of a newborn. But she is going to have surgery on the 2nd of Sept and I am praying that everything goes well. I can hardly talk to my daughter because I don't want to upset her by me being upset. I want to be there with her so badly but its impossible for me to go. She lives in another state. So I will just have to stay here and support her via phone.
Well I suppose that's enough for now, if you have any comments I would love to hear them. Thanks for reading/listening.
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