Wow I just read my first blog.  It was definitely to the point and gave you an idea about me but looking back at the state of mind I was in is a little scary.  Currently I am doing much better but that's for another time.  My grandchildren are all growing up so fast and getting so big.  Lia, the grandbaby with so many problems at birth is doing great.  I have been wanting to keep a blog, I guess its like a diary of sorts for someone my age so I am going to try my best to write a little something every day.  Today I am working on a new afghan for my mother, its full of pastel colors and looks just like Easter.  I know she is going to love it. 

I have been struggling with something lately and I am going to confess it here and hope that just by "talking" about it that it will make it all a little easier to handle.  So my 2 grown daughters with families of their own have all been enticed by their father in another state to move back with him, he is paying for everything, bought one a trailer and the other he is selling his house to her and her family.  Well, I have so many issues with that because he has never really been a part of their life and suddenly he is buying them and they are falling for it.  Oh there are other issues as well but I think I have adequately addressed them to my daughter and now I feel like all I can do is sit back and wait to pick up the pieces.  But I don't know, should I do that if it all falls apart?  I don't know, I have always been a very protective mother and this is really tearing me up inside.  I only want my kids to be happy and I suppose I have done my job and taught them right from wrong and good from bad so now I should just let them make their own mistakes.  But the other part of me feels very left out and forgotten.  After all, it was me who was there when they were sick, crying, sad or had problems they needed help with. Now I feel like I am being discarded, I know your probably thinking I am being selfish and that they need to be able to have that relationship with their father and I do agree, I have always encouraged that but I suppose its the way this is all happening that has me so bothered.  When my one daughter got down there my ex actually bought my 5 year old grandson his own shotgun and took him out within the hour of arriving to shoot it.  I was so horrified.  I just worry I guess maybe for nothing but its what I do best.  My daughter says, we don't worry Momma, because you worry enough for everyone.  I guess she is right.

My granddaughter that I am raising, well one of them, is really starting to act out now.  I just don't know if I have the energy to do this again.  I know that my husband and I took them in and everything but I thought my daughter would be helping with them.  Maybe not financially but at least be there.  Instead she has now moved about 1k miles away. 

Well I will try to blog again tomorrow, until then, have a really great day!